you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
