we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
