My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
