I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wear drunk well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
