Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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