the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
