when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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