I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
