My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
