it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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