I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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