your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
