it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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