im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
