It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
