I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We got so high we made milksteak
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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