Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
