i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
