I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
