windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
