Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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