sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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