lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
