she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
did i walk over a car last night?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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