she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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