goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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