wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
