At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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