he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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