My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
