Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
