you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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