i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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