imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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