we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
