Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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