the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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