You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
