I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
