he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
