allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
