Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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