i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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