do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
