I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
