Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just puked most of my soul out..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
