under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
