sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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