it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
