did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
