so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize