I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
