It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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