My first STD was from a foam party
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
