peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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